I kinda think Valentine's day is bullshit.
It is a Hallmark holiday designed to sell stuff, and make single people feel bad while they're at it. But I do like the idea of a month dedicated to love. In particular, self-love.
I don't think most of us give enough time to self-love (*Note self-love is completely different than being conceited. Self-love is loving yourself and believing you are just as deserving of love and happiness as anyone else. Being conceited is being self-obsessed and believing you are better than everyone else).
We are often so busy taking care of other people and making sure they feel loved, that we forget to dedicate time to one of the most important loves of all: self-love.
I say this because the more I coach, the more I realize so many of our own struggles are from not feeling worthy or good enough. Essentially, from not loving ourselves.
That is why I have dedicated my work to helping people fall more in love with themselves. I find this work so worthwhile and so rewarding, because the results are amazing. The more I love myself, the better my life gets.
While it is a lot of work to fall in love with yourself and undo the negative scripts you have been told/tell yourself, you have to start somewhere. Here are a few suggestions of self-love activities you can try implementing this month to fall a little more in love with you!
1. Say something nice to yourself
Give yourself a compliment. And it can't be followed with a criticism. Just a good ol' fashioned compliment: I like your hair today. You handled that situation really well. You are a really good friend. Complete the sentence, " I am_____" and then fill in the blank with something kind. Do this everyday.
2. Surround yourself with people who think you are the bomb
Cuz you are. And life is too short to waste on people who don't see it.
3. Practice self- worship
This could be in the way of a bath, masturbation, checking yourself out in front of a mirror, moisturizing, putting on a cute outfit, getting a pedi, or eating a wonderful meal. Whatever it is, just do something nice for yourself to honour the goddamn goddess/warrior that you are.
4. Stop comparing yourself
Comparison is the thief of joy and will only make you unhappy. Spend less time on social media if you have to. You are not so and so. But they are not you either. No one is like you. Thank god. You are unique and beautiful. Celebrate this.
5. Thank your body
for all the wonderful things it does for you and all the pleasure it allows you to experience. Go on, right now. I'll wait.
6. Eat foods that nourish you, drink water, and move in ways that feel good
Do this because you love yourself. Not because you hate yourself. Because these things make you feel good. And you deserve to feel good.
7. Practice the mantra: "I am enough"
Over and over and over again. Then do it some more.
8. Stop being so hard on yourself
Forgive yourself. Look at yourself with compassion and love like you would a friend. You're not perfect. You don't need to be. No one is. Turns out you are just as loveable even without being perfect.
9. Write out a list of things you love (or like about yourself)
Do this when you are in an inspired mood. You can ask loved ones to contribute. Revisit the list from time to time, particularly when you are feeling down.
10. Catch your negative self-talk
Replace it with positive talk. Sometimes we don't even notice what we are saying to ourselves. It is important to start paying attention. Write it down. Then replace it with positive talk you believe (you may need to start with neutral talk first). Coaching can really help with this if you are struggling. Those are just a few tips to help you on your journey to self-love. Would love to hear any others you have or how these have worked for you. Until next time.